Dealing with a Negative Pregnancy Test after IVF

By Lucy Townsley | All Posts

Aug 12

I will introduce myself I’m Lucy Townsley I’m an acupuncturist. I have been doing my job/vocation for the last 15 years and I have seen lots of couples who have been trying to have a baby, who have been to their doctor, who has referred them on to a fertility specialist. Have gone through all the test and the only answer is to try IVF.
One typical couple, I’m going to call this couple Mark and Jo, decided to give IVF another go. They took out a loan to top up the saving they already had to try another cycle. Mark and Jo have been through 2 IVF cycles already. Each time a negative result.

How do you cope with this negative result?

That hand that has reached in and pulled out your heart, not only that but has pulled the rug from under your feet and left you so devastated that you cannot put into words the pain you feel.

  • Don’t blame yourself or your partner.
  • Anger can really take over. Find ways to let it out: go for a good walk and have a good cry, imagine you are standing on top a mountain and just shout out loud. Don’t let the anger take over from a Chinese medicine point of view this is not healthy for your liver meridian. The liver meridian is vital for fertility.
  • Allow yourself time to grieve.
  • Have a ritual to grieve - plant a tree or shrub in your garden, buy a beautiful plant for your house, let go of a balloon, plant snow drops to remind you that new life can grow each year.
  • Get support from your family/friend pick the right ones that will help you – someone who makes you laugh, who can give you a hug, who can help you though this.
  • Employ your friend/family to do your jobs (they won’t mind)
  • Make sure you take time off work, work will always be there if you are missing for a few days it is ok.
  • Your last roughly 6 weeks have been all IVF, appointments, blood test, scans, etc. Suddenly this has all stopped, not only do you have to pay off the loan to pay for IVF, you are also not pregnant.
  • Go for your follow up appointment with the clinic (when your head is in a better place) it is really important to find out what happened. It could be something really simple that they need to change
  • Please look after your relationship, remember why you love each other
  • When you are both stronger go on a date
  • Have a bucket list, put everything on it, and start ticking off the things that you want to do.
  • You can feel as though the world is still turning really fast and you are looking at it from the outside. You cannot understand how your friends keep going on as if nothing has happened. You will step back in when you are ready. For your friends it hasn’t affected them even though they are sad for you, it easy for them to move on.

I’m not asking you to stop trying for a baby. But you really need to look after yourselves. Before you start trying again get yourself as healthy as you can. Myfertilebody on-line course Create A Bump prepares you for pregnancy on all levels physically, mentally, emotional and spiritually.

When IVF goes wrong from a Traditional Chinese Medicine point of view your Yin and Yang are not in balance, your kidney and Liver energies are not in harmony. The heart meridian is very affected by grief, the shen (mind) is not housed peacefully.

I am going to share with you some acupressure points to use that will help with your grief

  1. Shenmen Heart 7 – located on your wrist crease on the side of your small finger just on the inside of the tendon on the wrist crease
  2. Neiguan Pc6 – have the palm of your hand facing you the point is 3 fingers up the arm between the 2 tendons in the middle of the inside of your arm
  3. Taichong Liver 3 – located on your foot. Find your big toe and the toe next to it, run your finger between the 2 toes until you reach where the bones meet that is the point.
  4. Sanyinjiao Spleen6- Located on the inside of your leg, find the top of your , 4 fingers up your leg just behind the bone is the acupressure point.

Press these points 3 to 5 times and hold them for a few minutes every day after your results. These acupressure points are to help you through the grief, blame and anger.

I would like to share with you not on the third cycle of IVF but their fourth Mark and Jo have a little baby girl. There is always hope. We are here to help you.
Before you start IVF cycle prepare yourselves. www.myfertilebody.com on-line course Create A Bump, will have you completely ready on all levels mentally, spiritually, physically and emotionally to prepare you for a wonderful pregnancy.

Acupressure Points to Help

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About the Author

Lucy Townsley Lic TCM Trained in the Zita West IVF and Natural Fertility Method Also Acupuncture, Cupping, Tunia Massage, Facial Rejuvenation, Reiki, Prepared Herbs, Acupressure

martina mclaughlin

So true what you say…. Christmas without children is so bittersweet. It is hard to find that joy within ourselves that we should all be able to share at this time of year.
Though, you are right when you say we are not alone. With help & support from you, we are filled with renewed hope & positivity.
On a personal note, I want to thank you so much (from the bottom of my heart) for being part of my journey…. you have inspired me to keep going to fulfill my dream of becoming a mum.

Wishing you a very happy Christmas & prosperous new year.
Martina, xxx

Sonya

Nice to see I’m not alone my first miscarriage was 5years ago on November 28th and I thought nothing would hurt as bad as that Christmas well how wrong was I… this year excatly on November 18th it was discovered that my lovely 8week baby was embedded to my section a rare form of ectopic pregnancy called ‘cesarean scar pregnancy” so unfortunately two weeks ago I had to had an injection called methotrexate to end my pregnancy and now I’m dreading Christmas day as we where gonna tell everyone that day I always love christmas but this time i can’t get excited at all and after trying for 19 months to have this happen is heart breaking… so thank you for not only sharing your experience but listening to mine…. Merry christmas xxxx

Stephanie

A very moving and encouraging article. :)) It brought tears of joy and sorrow simultaneously. It is a very tender subject for many people and I am delighted you and Lucy are daring to write about these issues,
I admire your courage and think it is great that you are developing this site for the benefit of so many women and couples wishing to have a baby or two or more ! Warmest thoughts and congratulations to you both. A very happy Christmas to you and your families. Love Stephanie

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